Awareness of Your Own Feelings 

 

Sometimes, our feelings can get the best of us. Someone will say something rude and we’ll snap. Someone will do something stupid and we’ll go batshit crazy. Sure, we may be justified to act that way but that is not how you create influence. People like to follow someone they can emulate. They like their role models to be perfect. This is an impossible standard, so we shouldn't strive for perfection. What we should strive for is progress. We should strive for learning. One of the things we should have is an awareness of our own feelings. When you’re feeling like you are about to snap at someone, immediately acknowledge that feeling. “I’m mad and I want to punch this guy.” Next, breath in and out 3 times. Do it slowly and count 1 2 3, 3 2 1 each cycle. This will make you calmer. By this time, you are now less likely to snap since you now have a grasp on your emotion.

Next step

You can still add the next step which is about the alternative action. Think about the things you can do instead. You can walk away, you can calmly talk to the person, or you can do the initial reaction you had. But before you make a decision, make sure that you know the consequences of your action. 

Action Guide:

Practice having awareness of your own feelings. Whenever you’re in some kind of situation, acknowledge the feeling that you have and breath in & out 3 times. Manage your emotions well so you won’t regret the consequences of your actions later.

The Power of Body Language

They say that less than half of our communication are words. The other half (and more) is body language. Body language is the way you look at someone, the way you stand, what your hand does and many other factors. People are attracted to people who are confident and assured.
The worst things you can do are:

  • To fidget in front of your conversation partner.
  • To overly move your hands while talking.
  • To put your hands behind your back or your pocket. It should be on the side or being animated a little when the words you’re saying requires it. 
  • To hunch forward. You should stand straight with your shoulders back.
  • To never look at the person you’re talking to. You should be having eye contact at least 50% of the time.
  • To never smile, ever or when the situation requires it.

Follow these simple tips and you’ll be 2x better than other people when it comes to having a conversation.

Action Guide:  

Choose one tip you can apply in your next conversation. Don’t do them all at once if you’re not a natural with any of them. Just choose one so you won’t overthink about the actions. Thinking about what you’re doing while you’re doing it can be awkward. So practice it with someone you trust first. And then you can move on to strangers/customers/clients once you found your groove.