Find good traits in yourself

 

Now think what you say to yourself when you look in the mirror. Do you see a beautiful and fully valuable woman or are you looking for imperfections? Over many years all I could see in the mirror was what I thought that I needed to correct. Imperfections in my complexion, first wrinkles and the nose that was too large. Each time when I looked at myself in the mirror, I tried to kick my ass. Maybe if I had a matte complexion and a smaller nose, my life would have been different. I differ from women which I considered unfavorable back then. I spent hours in front of the mirror regulating my eyebrows to feel more perfect and silence my inner critic who kept pulling more punches and suggested that in order to be accepted I had to change myself. And so, I spent hours in the bathroom regulating my eyebrows which stopped re-growing completely after some time. Instead of looking in the mirror and comforting myself and admiring my advantages, I kept looking for shortcomings and defects. I kept criticizing myself that I did not look like women in magazines or on Instagram. I lived in the illusion that I had to be ideally beautiful to have an ideal life.
Sometimes looking in the mirror hurt me and I preferred not to do it in order not to diminish myself again. I sometimes saw a beautiful woman in myself with big blue and longing eyes and a constantly smiling and happy face. Those moments only lasted for a short while because thoughts like: “You are not deal, you don’t have perfect facial features, you don’t have a perfect silhouette, you have short hair and you want to be accepted?” I hated such thoughts and I did not know how to get them out of my head. I decided that I would doubt such ominous thoughts. When an internal voice of criticism came from within, I gave it a contra such as: “I doubt that my eyebrows have to be ideal because I care about my body, I feed it well and I exercise which is the best thing that I can have. I doubt that my facial imperfections are something bad because that is what makes me beautiful. Each day I repeated good words about myself to myself. If I failed to go to the gym, I went on a walk with my dog and if I had no chance for a walk with my dog, I was still good to myself because I did not want to be ideal, I wanted to be happy.
It is the same with other assumptions. If I went to a job interview and I was not given the job, I did not criticize myself at all, as it once was. I would tell myself: “You have managed so many things in life, you have passed your driver’s license test and looking yourself back in the mirror is not an easy task, you have graduated from college, you have completed a sewing machine operating course and why should that one thing ruin your day and approach? You will manage everything! Keep your head up and start looking for other job offers.

The next time will be better.

By finding good features of myself, I started looking at myself more gently. My internal critic would calm down and so would I, even external criticism did not hurt like it did before and I stopped fearing things. I started to go out into the world and started saying hello to my neighbors first and wish them a good day. I stopped being embarrassed to ask questions and the threat from others passed. By being good to myself I have become better to others and I have silenced my inner critic who stubbornly accompanied me with my every step. When I noticed good traits in myself, I began accepting myself. Each of us is different and each of us has different talents. We are different and that is beautiful. Making yourself similar to others burns out your soul. You are unique and there is no other person in your life like you and you have come to the world to show your talent. I began to see good qualities in others by seeing good features of myself.

Advice

Find good traits in yourself, approach the mirror and tell yourself an honest compliment, put your hand on your heart and tell yourself what you like about yourself out loud. Tell yourself what you managed to achieve every day and how proud you are of yourself. Find something about yourself which you like and look at it every day. Be kind to yourself, it brings incredible results.