Get in touch with yourself

 

I once heard that the best way to know yourself better is to have a journal. “What nonsense” I thought. How would writing a diary change something in my life? I decided not to follow this advice for years, until I came across the same statement again while reading personal development handbooks. I was already a free woman and I thought: “OK! I will try.” Maybe what causes the biggest resistance in me is exactly what I should do.
I went to the stationer’s and chose the most beautiful size A4 [3] notepad because that was my favorite type of notepads to write on. I went home, opened it on the first page and nothing, my mind was blank.

What should I start with?

How to start a conversation with yourself, knowing I had renounced my internal voice for many years. Nothing came to my head for a long time. I eventually took a pen and started with the date. I wrote “Hey, sweetheart.” Next to that memorable date (it was June 11th ). Those were my first kind words which I had thought to myself for a long time and I transferred them to paper. “I want to talk about what has taken place until now and apologize if I stopped noticing you.”It was as if my heart wrote the following words, the feeling of finally putting everything on paper was something I couldn’t believe I was able to feel. I started to describe everything that had taken place throughout the years of my marriage, I wrote about feelings and emotions as if I was talking to my best friend with a complete feeling of security. After two hours my hand gave up and I felt a relief which I had not felt up to that point. I felt as if a stone tied around my neck which I had carried for many years finally fell. That was as if I had thrown down a heavy burden of experiences born for all these years.
That day I went to bed earlier than usual and my body and soul were as light as a feather. I felt good with myself again. My internal child jumped with joy in a calm heart. It was then that I felt in touch with myself for the first time. Through the next few days, I could not wait until I got home and talked to myself again by putting all of my unspoken emotions and feelings on paper. My heart was incredibly happy that I could write down how I was feeling. It was a real relief. I finally started to understand myself more, why I behaved in a particular way, what thoughts ran through my head the entire day long and most of all, I started to notice what was going on around me more when my mind was at ease and everything that I was thinking about was put on paper.

It was a wonderful discovery.

My head freed itself from tensions which cumulated during the day and the journal was a particular form of therapy, a moment of cleansing myself from negative thoughts. As time went by I began to recognize my thoughts and I asked myself questions over and over: “Where do these thoughts come from?”; “What does this remind me of?”; “Why do I behave in such a way when I actually want to behave differently?” I began working on my thoughts. I watched them and kept asking the following question: “Why is my situation bad when I deeply want it to be good?” Answers came slower or faster but my questions did not remain without an echo. I started to have a real, beautiful contact with myself. Once I was working on self-acceptance and I decided to ask myself: “Why do I keep clicking my nails and obsessively check if they are even?” The answer from within said: “That is because you still haven’t accepted yourself.” You have no idea how much that surprised me. I took a deep breath and I wrote: “Yes, it is true, my self-acceptance required further work and as of today I will accept my nails, no matter their length and shape.” Since that, I have not cared about my nails much. I still like them when they are groomed and painted but even if one of them breaks, I say: “I ACCEPT MYSELF.” With a smile on my face. I am deeply convinced that having a journal drives us closer to ourselves and gives an outlet to all unspoken emotions, feelings and what bothers our head during the day. I urge you to buy a beautiful journal yourself and to begin writing about whatever you like. Talk to yourself bravely. All answers are written in you.

Advise

Write your journal and you will begin to understand yourself more. You will find answers to all your questions and you will start to accept yourself more and more each day. You will discover what you desire and you will start directing your life on the right track. A path that you want to follow to become a fulfilled and happy woman.